Maintaining one's integrity

Last weekend I ran into a Free Tibet demonstration--a cause that I am genuinely sympathetic to. I had to refrain myself from joining the group, however. And there is a reason--because I am an international civil servant.

In all my adult life I have never hesitated to join causes which I felt were important; I have participated in Take Back the Night demonstrations in the US, walked on the streets of Minnesota and Vancouver to fight against racism, and joined forces with my sisters and brothers to combat homophobia, both in Vancouver and Tokyo. There is a reason why I have never participated in a demonstration in France, a country where the right to participate in demonstrations is revered. When I joined my organization four years ago, I was given a small leaflet titled "Report on Standards of Conduct in the International Civil Service". Like any conscientious and enthusiastic employee, I read it.

This booklet starts off by telling us that:

One of the fundamental, if not paramount, standards of conduct derives from the requirement of integrity... For the international official, however, the [United Nations] Charter also requires integrity as a public official, and especially as an international public official... It follows that he must subordinate his private interests and avoid placing himself in a position where those interests would conflict with the interests of the organization he serves [paragraph 4; emphasis original].

We are also told:

To integrity, international outlook and independence, must be added impartiality. Impartiality implies objectivity, lack of bias, tolerance, restraint - particularly when political or religious disputes or differences arise. The staff member's personal views and convictions remain inviolate, but he has not the freedom of a private person to "take sides"... or public express his convictions on matters of a controversial nature... [paragraph 8].

So, like a good international civil servant, I refrain. I refrain from publicly expressing my convictions on matters that are important to me. I find it so contradictory, however, because respect for human rights and cultural diversity are exactly the things the organization to which I belong promote! But of course we are not allowed to express our personal opinions on them, so as not to offend the Member State.

The more I think about it, however, the more I start reconsidering my job as an international civil servant--how can one maintain her integrity if she is denied the right to be true to her values and morals, her wish for a better and peaceful world?

ポーランド出張：クラクフ

Zakopane の次に行ったのは、Kraków。ワルシャワとウッジの次３番目に大きな都市で、昔の首都だったため、ポーランドでももっとも歴史ある都市の一つだそうです。ここで半日しか過ごすことができなかったのは残念でした。聖マリア教会（Kosciol Mariacki）とヴァヴェル大聖堂（Katedra Wawelska）だけ観光することができました。

Wawel は小さな丘の上にあり、ここから見た Krakow の町並みは、とても素敵。遠くに聖マリア教会などの建物が見えます。第２次世界大戦で破壊を免れることができたため、歴史的な建物がたくさん残っています。

さて、Wawel 大聖堂の中にはジグムント塔といい、ポーランド最大の鐘が吊されています。確か重量は１１トンだったと思います。ガイドさんによると、この鐘を左手で触れながらお願いごとをすると、それがかなうということでしたので、しっかりお願いごとをしてきました。この内容は願いがかなった後でしか言ってはいけない（それ以前に言ってしまうとかなわなくなる）ということですので、公表は後ほど。

下は、Wawel 大聖堂の写真です。

Krakow から１５キロくらい離れたところに、ヴィエリチカ岩塩坑（Kopalnia soli Wieliczka）があり、ここで２時間のツアーに参加しました。13世紀から現在にいたるまで使われている岩塩の採掘坑で、坑夫たちが岩塩で彫った彫像や、全て塩でできた大聖堂もあり、とても立派でした。中で写真が撮れなかったので、wikipedia の写真を載せます。この聖キンガ礼拝堂（Kaplica św. Kingi）は地下１００メートルのところにあります。ここを結婚式などのイベントのために貸し出しも行われているようです。

塩の純度がそれほど高くないので、色は白というよりは、灰色。目立たないところをなめてみましたが、やはりしょっぱかったです。

On looking fat but not (yet) pregnant

Girls and women are bombarded with images of what we should look like. The skinny movie stars look incredibly sexy with their big boobs and the latest fashions are flattering only for underweight women. Is it any wonder that girls, and women, suffer from eating disorders?

Before I became pregnant, it did not occur to me that I would start worrying about the way I would look during pregnancy. After all, Paris is filled with pregnant women, many of whom working and/or active. There's nothing wrong with a little bump on my tummy, I thought. So, when my body shape progressively changed—I outgrew my bras in March, my jeans began getting tight in April, and by mid-May I was no longer able to do the top button in any of my pants—I was actually quite excited. When I started looking around for maternity clothes, however, I found that my body was not yet ready for them. I realized that maternity clothes are only made to fit women who are more than 5 months pregnant. So, heeding the advice of a friend, I bought a wonderful accessory called the BellaBand, which allows me to wear my pants with my buttons undone.

The problem, though, is that when I wear my regular pants, the BellaBand, and a normal shirt, I don't look pregnant. I just look fat.

By now it has dawned on me that images of pregnant women that we are bombarded with in the media are NOT those of "typical" pregnant women. I now understand that those women who actually LOOK pregnant are those in their third trimesters—which means that only one-third of all pregnant women actually LOOK pregnant (i.e., look the way pregnant women are supposed to look). But still, it has been extremely difficult for me to accept the way I look.

It is all the more difficult for me, because I have always battled with my weight, ever since a teenager. I have struggled to keep my BMI in the "ideal" range, and have been successful in maintaining my weight within the range for the past 2 years.

So, while I patiently wait for my body to fit into maternity clothes, I have decided to do my best to accept the way I look. I have come to terms with the fact that I will probably never sport a "baby bump" such as those of celebrity women (think Angelina Jolie and Cate Blanchet on the Oscars red carpet)—but rather, I will look pregnant in my own, unique, way.

ポーランド出張：ザコパネ

ポーランド Łódź での会議の後３日間、ポーランド南部を旅行しました。

まず最初に行ったのは、スロバキアとの国境にある、タトラ山脈ふもとの Zakopane。この週末はたまたまロング・ウィークエンドと重なったため、ポーランド人の家族でにぎわっていました。ケーブル・カーで山の上まで行く予定でしたが、３時間以上待つと聞いてあきらめ、代わりに国立公園（Tatrzanski Park Narodowy）の中を散歩しました。




国立公園の入口にあった売店でソーセージを焼いていました。においに誘われ買いましたが、このソーセージは本当に美味しかった！この前を通ってソーセージを食べなかった人はいないのでは？

ソーセージを食べた後、Zakopane の町の中心部 Krupowki 通りを散歩しました。この地域はヤギのチーズ（燻製したもの？）が有名で、街中ではよく、この写真にあるようなチーズ屋さんを見かけました。上のソーセージの写真にもこのチーズがあるのがわかるでしょうか（ソーセージの手前に、アルミフォイルの上にのっているやつ）。この熱々のチーズも食べましたが、最高でした。

この通りから見える山は、「横たわっている騎士」であるといわれているそうです。右端から頭・首・体が見えます（仰向けになっている）。日本の寝仏山みたいですね。

この Krupowki 通りのすぐ近くにある古い墓地には Zakopane にゆかりのある有名人が眠っていました。石や木などで建てられたお墓の周りに豊かな緑。雰囲気が素敵でした。