Announcing one's pregnancy

At 6 months, I am FINALLY starting to show, and I am over the "looking fat but not (yet) pregnant" phase (thank goodness). People are giving up seats for me on the Metro, and things that fall off my fork/chopsticks during meals land on my bulging tummy, not on my lap. The best part is that I feel confident when walking into a maternity clothes store.

I have also begun (belatedly) to tell people that I am pregnant. Instead of making a big deal out of it, I try to discreetly slip it in conversations. People's reactions can be categorized into three: (1) those who seem genuinely happy for me, proceed to ask numerous questions, and thus the conversation changes entirely; (2) those who say "congratulations", but limit questions to my health and my future plans; and (3) those who say something to the effect of "I guess I should congratulate you", ask when the baby is due, and then go back to the conversation we were having before the announcement.

Needless to say, such reactions depend on the kind of position and feelings each person has vis-a-vis having children. Those who respond as (1) tend to be mothers/fathers themselves, or they want to be mothers/fathers. The former tend to welcome me to the club and give me advice, while the latter tells me their plans/dreams of one day (soon) having children. Those who fall in the (2) category are the ones who have mixed feelings on the issue; they are not sure they want children, or haven't thought about it very much, so they ask the minimum questions deemed necessary but are usually uncomfortable having a deeper conversation on the issue. (3) is quite simple--they have no desire to dwell on this point than any other, because they are clearly not interested in having children or in dealing with people who do.

Having been in positions (2) and (3) in the immediate past, I can easily identify with those who react in such ways. The question I always used to pose, whenever people made such announcements was: "why did you decide to have a child?" This is a question that I have yet to be asked by anyone... yet I feel it is a crucial question that need to be considered by anyone and everyone who chooses to have children.

Why should an environmentalist who is always trying to minimze her ecological footprint choose to have a child, when we know that the average person in the developed world consumes 32 times more resources than someone in the developing world, and every 3.6 seconds another person dies of starvation (the large majority of them being children under the age of 5)?

Why are people who choose NOT to have children constantly questioned about their decision, while those who choose to have children are never asked about theirs?

My reasons for wanting to have a child are quite personal. But I do know that at this point in my life I am ready, with my partner, to go through a fundamental change in our lives. To quote from the movie "Lost in Translation":

Your life, as you know it... is gone. Never to return. But... [the kids] turn out to be the most delightful people you will ever meet in your life.

Wish us luck!

(for some more quotes from the film, go to: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0335266/quotes).

ゴーヤ

パリで手に入らない日本の食材はたくさんありますが、普段はそれほど和食を食べないので、あまり気になりません。私たちが普段買い物しているオーガニックの食材店（Naturalia と Biocoop）で色々手に入るし（醤油、ごま油、わかめ、切干大根、うどん、そば、そうめん、日本茶など）、日本から友人や親戚が来仏する際色々持ってきてもらっています。

パリで買うことができない野菜で一番困るのは、ねぎ。ポワロー（リーキ）で代用する場合もありますが、薬味としては使えません。

パリでまず口にすることがないもの、それは野菜のゴーヤ。１３区の中華食品店で苦瓜は売っていますが、食べなれている九州や沖縄のそれと比べて大振りだし、味も薄い感じ（日本のきゅうりとフランスや北米で売っているジャイアント・きゅうりとの違いと同じような感じ）。そこで去年の夏一時帰国した際、わしたショップで種を買い、今年の春プランターに植えてみました。

今年の夏のパリはそれほど天気がよくないけれど、ようやく伸びて、ちゃんと花も咲いてくれました。実がなってくれるといいけれど。もちろん、肥料はオーガニックのものを使っていますよ。

ひまわり

３月に行った時から気になっていた、Tomlins Vegetarian Guest House の周りのひまわり畑。ひまわり開花のピークといわれた７月中旬、再度行ってきました。残念ながらまだ満開ではなかったけれど、青空がバックの真黄色のひまわり、とても素敵でした。

今回も料理教室を楽しみました。お品書きは：

昼食　なすのパルミジアノとセージのフォカッチャ

フォカッチャは意外と簡単にできたので、今度家でも作ってみたいです。

夕食　前菜はブルッシェッタ。

トッピングは３種類、オリーブのタペナード、フェンネルのグリル、セロリ根のソテー。

メインはズッキーニとチーズのソーセージ（ポテトのくるみ衣揚げ、チェリートマト煮、ハーブ入りクレーム・フレッシュ添え）。このソーセージ、作る過程が楽しかったです。

　　
　 　　

デザートはレモン・ポセットにラズベリー・ソース。これも簡単のわりには豪華に見えるので、お客さんが来たときにでも活躍しそうです。

ぶらんこは今回も料理教室中は一人でお留守番でしたが、たくさん散歩したから、満足してくれたかな。

Prenatal testing

Until recently, pregnant women over the age of 38 in France were systematically advised to have amniocentesis--a prenatal test to determine whether a baby has a genetic disorder or a chromosomal abnormality. In the US and many other countries, women over 35 are recommended to have amnio. Being 34, and determined not to slip through this inter-cultural gap, whether to get this test done or not was something that I considered seriously.

The contradictions of genetic prenatal testing are well-described by Sandra Steingraber in her book Having Faith. Amniocentesis is very narrow in focus in that "the whole enterprise implies that the future life of a child can be read by counting its chromosomes and scrutinizing their architecture" (click here for an excerpt of the book chapter where this issue is discussed). This is quite problematic when one considers that the majority of birth defects are not attributable to inborn genetic errors; children born with defects due to environmental factors, such as mercury poisoning or thalidomide, would not be detected using this method. Moreover, so many disorders and defects due to environmental factors are not detected until many years after birth; studies link pesticide exposure to autism, neurological disorders, and other developmental problems. A question Steingraber asks is "What if amniocentesis inquired about environmental problems as well as genetic ones?"

The results of two screening tests that I went through--the nuchal translucency scan (at 12 weeks) and HT21 blood test (at 17 weeks)--came out to indicate that the possibility of my fetus having Down syndrome and neural tube defects were extremely low--1:2495 for Down syndrome. The morphological scan (done at 22 weeks) indicated no physical abnormalities--even though, of course, as was written in the papers that were attached to all the test results, they do not guarantee that the fetus will be free of abnormalities/disorders.

In the end, we decided against having amniocentesis. But if a prenatal testing that allows us to determine the amount of environmental contaminants in our body, one that could diagnose whether or not the fetus will be free from problems arising from such contaminants existed, I would certainly have taken it. Since being diagnosed with “sick house syndrome” (a Multiple Chemical Sensitivity) six years ago, I have changed my lifestyle so that I am exposed to as little environmental toxins as possible. However, if such prenatal testing existed, it would be very important for me to know how much my diagnosis six years ago could negatively affect my child. This would be such an important information for all parents-to-be.

Another thing we found out during the second trimester ultrasound was that the fetus' growth is normal and that all measurements--the diameter and circumference of the abdominal area, thigh bones, etc.--are in the 50 percentile, i.e., average. What a relief to parents (to-be): having a completely average child! Having grown up in an environment where one's academic aptitude is measured using scores and percentiles, it was a big relief to know that the measurements of the fetus are 50 percentile. At what point in our lives as parents does having an average child become NOT enough? We'll have to wait and see.

Long live maternity pants!

The beginning of the soldes in Paris coincided with the beginning of the fifth month of my pregnancy, and I finally mustered enough courage to go shopping for maternity clothes.

As I got out of my pants (yes the pre-pregnancy ones that I wear unzipped, with a rubber band through the button hole, and a BellaBand to cover it all) and tried on some materinity pants, my first impression was: why on earth didn't I try these super-comfy things before???

There is indeed a reason why these things are made--for pregnant women whose belly is expanding. No matter how big or small the expanding belly is. Since I have sworn to buy only the minimum amount of maternity clothes, I decided to wait until it was absolutely necessary to buy them. But my conclusion now is: comfort should be a priority! So my recommendation is this: anyone hesitating to buy maternity clothes until pre-pregnancy clothes get so uncomfortable that your tummy starts to hurt when sitting down, should reconsider IMMEDIATELY. Get these super comfy clothes (well, at least pants, anyway) ASAP! Some brands claim that their maternity clothes are for pregnant pregnant from month 1 to 9, so it's never too early, I reckon.

For conventional maternity clothes, I liked, and bought clothes from, the following French brands:

- 1 et 1 font 3
- Formes
- Serafine

In terms of the shopping experience, I must say I found the sales people at Formes and Galeries Lafayette's maternity section the most helpful and kind. At Formes, the sales assistants were wearing these maternity clothes, even though their tummies were as flat as a cutting board!

For organic cotton maternity clothes (and oh they are difficult to find!) I have bought:

- Lili l'a fait
- Cherry on the cake


I have checked out the following organic cotton maternity clothes brands but have not bought anything from them:

- lunaBulle
- schone maternity

Happy shopping!