bisou: a French greeting

For over three years now, I have been living in a continent where people kiss each other in greeting. I must admit that I am not such a great fan of bisou-ing. In other places that I have lived, people variously hug, shake hands, bow, or wave. Although non-contact greetings are not very personable, I think hugging is just as intimate but more hygienic. But alas, this is the state of affairs here, and as a good respectable global citizen, I comply with the local custom.

When we bisou in greeting, it usually takes the form of cheek-to-cheek, where we kiss the air; in Paris we do this twice. In other European countries where I have travelled for work (the Netherlands, Poland, Belarus, Ukraine) it is done three times.

What bothers me particularly, and what has promopted me to write this today is this: SMELL and WET SPOTS. First, perfume (and aftershave) are used amply in this continent in order to obscure body odour, and being sensitive to smells, it bothers me quite a bit that I must wear traces of other people's aftershave/perfume all day. Second, moist-kissers, who tend to be lip-to-cheek-kissers (i.e., instead of kissing the air next to your cheek, they actually put their moist lips on your cheeks!). After greeting moist-kissers, who tend to be middle-aged or older men, I end up having WET SPOTS on my cheeks, which, together with the various SMELLS mentioned above, I must wear ALL DAY. Needless to say, the first thing I do when I get home is to thoroughly wash my face!

At this time of the year when many people are coming down with one sort of bug or another, I strongly advocate that the government ministry in charge of health and sanitation should study the relationship between bisou-ing and spread of infectious diseases like the flu, and one day, enact a total ban on bisous!